Ibn al-Qayyim (rahimahullaah) says:

And the cure for this deadly illness (i.e. love before marriage) is for the person that is afflicted to realize that this love is only due to his/her own delusions and ignorance. So upon such a person is to first and foremost strengthen their Tawheed and reliance upon Allaah, and secondly to increase in worship and busy themselves with it, so much so that they do not have any spare time letting their minds wander and think about their beloved.

And they should call upon Allaah to protect them and save them from this evil, just as Prophet Yoosuf (`alayhi ssalaam) called upon Allaah and he was saved. And they should do as he did, be as he was, in terms of ikhlaas (sincerity) and remembering Allaah in abundance. This is because if the heart is filled with ikhlaas for the sake of Allaah, there will be no space left for any unlawful love to be present, rather this only happens to a heart that is empty and has no ikhlaas whatsoever.

And let such people remind themselves that whatever Allaah has decreed for them is only for their own best interests, and when Allaah commands something it is never to cause harm or misery to His slaves.

And let them also remind themselves that their unlawful love does not benefit them, neither in this world or the Hereafter! As for this world then they will be so preoccupied with their love that it will cripple them and will cause them to live in a fantasy world. And as for the hereafter, then it will cause them to be preoccupied with the love of the creation instead of love for the Creator. These people need to be reminded that the one who is emerged in something will never see its ill effects, neither will the person who has never experienced such things. The only people who will be able to relate to them are those who have experienced the same thing, but have been saved.

Such people can look back and realize how evil it is.


ad-Daa`wa ad-Dawaa, p300

Ibn Al-Qayyim says:

Everything that is loved – if it is not loved for His sake then this love is nothing but distress and punishment. Every action that is not performed for His sake then it is wasted and severed. Every heart that does not reach Him is wretched, veiled from achieving its success and happiness.


Narrated ‘Aa’ishah (radhiyallaah ‘anhaa) [1], “A man came to the Prophet (sallallaah ‘alayh wa ‘alaa aalih wa sallam) and said, “O Allaah’s Messenger! Verily, you are more beloved to me than myself, and verily you are more beloved to me than my family and more beloved to me than my children. And verily, when I am at home and I remember you then I cannot be patient until I come to you and I look at you. And when I contemplate about my death and your death, I know that when you enter Paradise, you will be raised with the Prophets and that if I enter Paradise, I fear that I will not see you.”
The Prophet (sallallaah ‘alayh wa ‘alaa aalih wa sallam) did not respond to him until Jibreel (‘alayh as-salaam) brought down this Aayah [2],
“And whoso obey Allaah and the Messenger, then they will be in the company of those on whom Allaah has bestowed His Grace, of the Prophets, As-Siddiqeen, the martyrs, and the righteous. And how excellent these companions are!””
Narrated Anas Ibn Maalik (radhiyallaah ‘anh) [3], “A man asked the Prophet (sallallaah ‘alayh wa ‘alaa aalih wa sallam) about the Hour saying, “When will the Hour be?” He said, “What have you prepared for it?” He said, “Nothing, except that I love Allaah and His Messenger (sallallaah ‘alayh wa ‘alaa aalih wa sallam).” He then said, “You will be with those whom you love.”
Anas said, “We had never been as glad as we were on hearing that saying of the Prophet (sallallaah ‘alayh wa ‘alaa aalih wa sallam) ‘You will be with those whom you love.’” Anas said, “Hence, I love the Prophet (sallallaah ‘alayh wa ‘alaa aalih wa sallam) and Abaa Bakr and ‘Umar, and I hope that I will be with them because of my love for them though my deeds are not similar to theirs.””
[1] Authentic. Refer to: As-Silsilah As-Saheehah.
[2] Soorah An-Nisaa’, Aayah 69.
[3] Related by Al-Bukhaariy and Muslim.
  • Transcribed from: When Love Overpowers Patience || Fasbir.com

Some of the Salaf have said:

Whoever worships Allaah with love alone is a zindeeq; whoever worships Him with hope alone is a Murji’; whoever worships Him with fear alone is a Hurooree and whoever worships Him with love, fear and hope is a Muwahhid.”

Takhweef min an-Naar, Ibn Rajab


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